Rolling over

Kirby rolled over for the first time today! :)

We haven't been good about giving him tummy time (ie: laying him flat on his stomach). However, we've held him so that he can look over our shoulder and he's been really great at being able to hold his head up that way. I read recently that we should try to give him 20 minutes a day on his stomach - even if it's broken up into 10 2 minute segments, which is good b/c Kirby's definitely not a fan!

I put a mattress on the floor yesterday to give him some time on his stomach. He was ok for about 5 minutes before he got really aggravated. He was able to lift his head some, but not higher than I had already seen.

This morning, I did the same thing.... mattress on the floor for tummy time. When I set him down, I looked at his little feet kicking and thought that that he looked really cute and that I should get the camera. I didn't feel good about leaving him alone on the floor (I didn't want Bingham to come over and lick him :P ) so I decided not to get the camera. After about 30 seconds, I noticed that Kirby's head was lifted higher than I'd ever seen before. I rubbed his back and gave him lots of encouragement b/c he was starting to get upset and the next thing I knew, he had completely rolled over on his own!! I was so stunned!

As soon as he rolled over, I laughed and told him how amazing he was. He smiled back at me, but then he went back to crying. I imagined him thinking how he temporarily responded to me laughing and smiling but then realized he was pissed off at being on his belly and then somehow magically ended up on his back. :)

I put him on his belly twice more today in hopes that he would roll over but he didn't. I'm sure it's going to be a while before he does it again, but at least the thought of it happening again encourages me to put him on his belly more often than I've been doing. :P

I recorded him on his belly during one of the non-roll over times. He didn't roll over, but he's still awfully cute!

Finally updating

I've been *really* bad about updating this blog since Kirby was born. As a matter of fact, I just found the time to post his birth story last night. :P I have time to do some things, but it's difficult when I'm home alone b/c Kirby wants to be held at all times. I have a laptop within reach for surfing the web & playing games, but it's not easy typing anything of length one finger at a time.

Kirby's doing really well. He's a big dude! Yesterday was his 2 month birthday, but we won't be taking him in until next week for his 2 month appt. I'll find out his weight and length at that time. I've asked Gary to accompany me to that appt b/c Kirby has to get 3 vaccines and I think I'll pass out if I have to be the one to hold him!

He's been hitting all of his developmental marks (at least the ones the books mention). It was really a big difference once he started smiling back at us and making happy noises (around 1 month). In the past 2 days, I've noticed that he's been able to focus on things - looking us in the eyes, looking at the pictures in the books I read, etc. This morning he finally noticed Bingham. :)

I'm trying to be better about putting him down for naps, but it's difficult b/c he wakes up quickly once he realizes he's not being held. I've been trying to get him used to the car seat (he doesn't seem to like to be confined) and today I was actually able to get him to take a 30 minute nap in the car seat. Ahh..... freedom (at least temporarily).

I'm also trying to take him out of the house a little bit every day. I take him for a little walk around the neighborhood - either in the car seat or strapped to me in the bjorn if it's a nice, not too sunny day. However, there aren't many really nice days lately between the cold and the rain so I've occasionally taken him to the mall or Target to walk around. I imagine I'll get bored of that, but at least we're not looking at the same walls all day and he tends to nod off a bit when we're walking. It's nice for me b/c then I get a little bit of a mental break.

This is Kirby in the bjorn after our afternoon walk yesterday.

Kirby's Birth Story

Kirby has finally arrived!

Kirby Winston Miller
Born: October 27, 2009 at 4:36pm
Stats: 9 lbs 1 oz, 21" long, and 14.5" head

I was scheduled to be induced at 8pm on Monday, Oct 26. That day definitely went by SLOWLY! We mostly watched TV and played a little Rock Band until family started arriving around 3:30pm. Dinner for me was rather light - broth soup and jello - b/c they didn't want anything heavy in my stomach in case emergency surgery was needed.

We all drove to Duke Hospital around 7:30 and I was set up in the birthing room (it was actually the room that we stayed in the entire 3 days). We waited around a bit while the hospital staff set everything up, and the pitocin drip was started around 9:45pm. I think I was 3 cm dilated at that time.

Here I am, hooked up and waiting for the labor to progress. You can see that it's early on b/c I'm still smiling.



It wasn't easy for me to move around since I was hooked up to a lot of wires: pitocin drip through an IV, baby's heart rate monitor around my waist, contraction monitor around my waist, blood pressure cuff and heart rate monitor for me. I didn't really get out of bed much b/c of the wires and it was definitely difficult to go to the bathroom since everything (except the pitocin) had to be unhooked. And let me tell you..... a 9 month pregnant lady always has to go to the bathroom!



I had a false sense of how long it would take since Gary's sister was induced 2 times and both labors lasted less than 5 hours, but apparently, that's not how it's done at Duke Hospital. They prefer that labor happens slowly so that it's less likely that a c-section will be needed. The nurse said that moving around would help the labor progress more quickly, but as I mentioned above, it was difficult to move around much. At some point, I was tired of sitting in bed the whole time (especially since I couldn't sleep) so I just stood a bit next to the bed and sometimes used the birthing ball.

That was a LONG night! It was difficult to get any sleep b/c people kept coming in to check on my progress and frankly, I was too uncomfortable to sleep. Gary also didn't get much sleep b/c of the interruptions, so at least he was around to keep me company and help out when I needed to go to the bathroom.

At some point, things progressed enough for me to get the epidural. I was TERRIFIED of getting a needle in the spine, but it really wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be. The hardest part of the procedure was when I tried to scoot up high enough on the bed so I could bend over a pillow to give them maximum view of my spine. I was nervous b/c I have scoliosis in the exact spot that they wanted to poke me, but I had previously scheduled a consultation with an anesthesiologist to make sure that everything would be ok. The person I met with suggested that I request someone with more experience (ie: not a resident) and I made sure to tell them as soon as they came in to discuss my options during the induction.

Throughout the next day (Tuesday) labor continued to progress slowly. Gary & I slept a little off and on and just waited. After lunch, I felt like I had been drugged and couldn't keep my eyes open - even after people came in to check my vitals. Later in the day, I realized that I started feeling the contractions. At first, I just noticed them more but it wasn't painful, but after a while they started to hurt. I ended up getting another epidural, but I'm not sure why the first one stopped working. My legs were still numb from the first epidural, but I felt everything from the waist up. I felt full on contractions while they were putting in the second epidural and HOLY CRAP they hurt! I don't see how people can go through labor with no pain meds!

Around 2:30-3:00 I began feeling the urge to have a bowel movement (which is actually the urge to push). I called the nurse, but she was on break. The "sub" nurse said that she'd let my nurse know once she was back from lunch. As soon as the "sub" walked out of the door, my water broke. The dr came in and had to break the sac again (he said they sometimes close) and thankfully that didn't hurt. At that time, I was dilated "10 cm with a lip" so he said that it would be just a while longer before I needed to push.

There was a bet amongst the staff about Kirby's weight. The midwife guessed 7.5-8 and others guessed around 7.5. Boy, were they wrong!

A female dr came in a while later and asked if I wanted to practice pushing so that I would know what to do when it came time. During this time, I had a dr, a dr in training, a midwife and a nurse helping. After 5 practice pushes, I asked if that was enough for practice and the dr said that I was in active labor and that I should keep going! Everyone was really great about being encouraging - apparently, I'm a rock star at pushing. :) Pushing was definitely the hardest part of the whole process! I tried several positions (all while on the bed since my legs were completely numb) and after 1 hour and 15 minutes I finally pushed him out! Even though I had an epidural I still felt him crowning and coming out and it wasn't pleasant. Again, I couldn't imagine anyone going through it without pain meds!

The main thing I remember about his birth was that I saw him pee as soon as he came out. :) They suctioned everything out of his head holes and placed him on my chest (pre-clean up).



While I was holding him, the dr and the nurse were pushing on my stomach - trying to massage my uterus (to help the passing of the placenta). Almost as soon as they took Kirby away to clean him up, I started to feel odd. My vision was hazy and I felt like I needed to close my eyes. However, when I closed my eyes, I still didn't feel right, so I'd open them again. I did this a few times before I decided to just leave them closed. After about a minute, I opened my eyes and realized that there were more people in the room and there was an urgency in people's voices. The IV came out of my right hand and they had trouble getting another one in my left hand b/c my hands were clammy.

During this time, my mom was next to me wiping my brow. Once I realized something was wrong, I asked my mom to find out what was going on. No one really answered - I guess b/c they were busy. :P Shortly after, I started feeling them sewing me up (from tearing the perineum). Ugh - that was gross! I begged my mom to push on the button to give me an extra dose of epidural meds, but for some reason the button wasn't dispensing the meds. Mom kept pushing the button until it released a dose, but I felt the needle go in twice before I went numb again!

They finally got everything under control and I was able to rest a bit. I found out later that I had a uterine hemorrhage and that's why I felt like I wanted to pass out. All I could think afterward was how lucky I was that I had a hospital birth instead of being at home b/c I could have died from the loss of blood!

Kirby, thankfully, was perfect! :) Gary stayed with me for most of the time b/c it scared him to see me with the drs working frantically to stop the blood loss (he said that I looked yellow like a Simpson character and my dad said I was pale white which made my freckles stick out).

Duke doesn't keep the babies in the nursery so we had no option but to have him room with us at night. Looking back, I really wish that we were able to send him to the nursery b/c we were both so tired from not sleeping the night before and I was trying to recover from labor. However, we managed. Gary did most of the work b/c my legs were still numb so I wasn't moving much. When I finally got out of bed to go to the bathroom, I left a huge blood trail like someone was killed in that room! When I finished going to the bathroom, I had to be helped back to bed b/c I almost passed out again. My blood test came back and I had lost a LOT of blood - enough that the dr asked me multiple times if I wanted a blood transfusion. He said that even if I took 2 bags of blood, it would still only get me to 28 (the blood test said 21 and 38 is normal). Since I was feeling ok (I didn't get dizzy again after that first trip to the bathroom), I said no. Instead, I got a prescription for iron pills (which worked b/c I was back to normal after 6 weeks).

Now that I look back on it, I was really lucky with breastfeeding. I was able to produce milk quickly and Kirby picked up sucking like a pro. We didn't have a lot of the issues that a lot of mom's have in the beginning and I'm very thankful for that! It was hard enough for both of us to learn - I couldn't imagine having issues!

Those are pretty much the highlights! It wasn't easy in the hospital b/c we'd never had to deal with a newborn and I was in bed most of the time b/c of the recovery. Both sets of grandparents were there for Kirby's birth and thankfully, my mom stayed with us for the first 2 weeks to help us out at home. Kirby's lucky that he's so cute b/c it made the difficult times worth it. :)

Here's Kirby - getting ready for his first car ride home.

Due date is here!

Well, today is our baby's due date. No baby yet, but he's inching ever closer to being "with us" in the world. If he doesn't arrive of his own volition this weekend, he'll be induced on Monday.

It's an odd feeling knowing that we'll have a baby in our arms very soon. In some ways it seemed like it would never happen. We've been working toward this moment for so long (4 years!). I'm remarkably calm about the whole thing. We'll see if that holds true once it all begins. I'm sure Theresa has different anxieties and emotions than I do right now. :)

But, hopefully we'll have pictures to share here soon, and then we can transition this blog into documentary mode. Until then, keep thinking good thoughts for Kirby Winston Miller.

Time's flying

Well, it looks like about a month has passed since the last blog post. I'm not sure anyone is actually reading this, though. So, maybe it's just for us.

Since the last post we've done a few other things like tour Duke's labor and delivery area and went to a baby shower down in Atlanta that included nearly all of our immediate family. Things are cruising along nicely (although I'm sure Theresa would have something to say about that).

We've been working on the house a bunch, getting things ready and tackling projects we want to finish before he arrives. In truth, a lot of these tasks are things we should've done a year ago after we moved into this house!

I suppose the "biggest" piece of information that's new since the last post is that our little guy actually has a full name now: Kirby Winston Miller

Supreme Court Justice K. Winston Miller

Paparazzi favorite KWin

But, he's just Kirby to us. :)

And we'll get to meet him pretty soon!

Taking classes and more

We're about 9 and 1/2 weeks away from Kirby's due date, and we've started taking classes. Last week it was a class focused on pain relief options and epidural... mostly epidural (since it was delivered by the anesthesiologist from Duke). I'm pretty sure Theresa nearly passed out from the thought of having the epidural. But, I think that's the route she wants to go (since she's got a low pain tolerance).

Last night we took an infant CPR and safety class. The CPR baby "simulates" are pretty freaky -- the face comes off. Of course, that's how they sanitize them, so it's good that they come off. Still pretty freaky, though. Theresa still wouldn't put her mouth on the fake baby, though.

Mid-way through showing us the CPR techniques, the instructor says something like, "Everyone understand? Good, because nearly everyone will have to use this at some point," and then she moved on. But, before she could launch into her next topic, one of the class participants said, "wait a minute. Did you just say that nearly everyone will have to use this at some point?" Apparently she that concept freaked him out.

What I thought was interesting is that in all the examples she gave while we were practicing, she never had us assume it was *our* baby who was choking. The scenarios were always something like, "okay, so your neighbor's baby is choking..." I suppose they think that telling newly expecting parents that *their* baby is choking is too much to handle.

Anyway, we've got several more classes coming -- breastfeeding, maternity ward tour, "prepared childbirth." Between getting the nursery together, taking classes, and simply feeling that little bugger jump around in there, there is no denying that our lives are about to be overhauled!

gestational diabetes test

I took the gestational diabetes test yesterday. I know that people said not to alter my diet leading up to the test since it wouldn't make a difference, but I had stopped eating extra sugar (no sweet tea, no sodas, no desserts, no granola bars, no yogurt, etc) since Friday. For breakfast that morning, I only ate 4 slices of 40 calorie toast with butter and water was the only thing I drank.

When I got to the dr office, they took my usually stats - BP was 105/70 and my weight was 193.5 - which was great b/c I had only gained 2 pounds last month! I'm glad b/c I haven't worked out as much over the last month with all the pains. Then I had to drink some weird super sugary orange stuff - all in 2 minutes. I was worried b/c my stomach was upset and I was afraid that I'd throw up, but thankfully, the orange drink wasn't nasty like most people said it was. I had to wait exactly an hour then have my blood drawn for them to test.

In the meantime, I met with a midwife for my monthly visit and everything is still progressing like normal. My stomach measures the correct size and Kirby's heartbeat is strong. He's still moving around a lot in there - she had a hard time at first getting him to stay still long enough to read his heartbeat. :) My main questions for her were about how to manage the pain. The lower back pain has made things really difficult, and I'm really scared about what's going to happen for the next 3 months if I'm hurting this much already. Hopefully, I'm able to find ways to manage the pain without taking too many meds (I haven't taken any yet). I have a maternity belt that I wear sometimes (it's not comfortable for me to wear all the time b/c it cuts into my pre-pregnancy fat rolls :P ) and I have the pool on the back deck, which feels wonderful while I'm in it. She also suggested a heating pad for my back and cushier shoes (I mostly wear ballet flats to work, but I wear cushy tennis shoes on the weekends).

I was asked to be apart of another study while I was there. This one is to determine genetics and the environments effects on the baby. Since I was getting my blood drawn for the diabetes test (and also HIV, for some weird reason), they just took 2 extra vials of blood for the study. I answered some questions and the next time I go back for a dr appt I'm going to fill out a more detailed survey of my history and how I live. During labor, they want to take one more vial of blood and a small sample of the placenta and cord blood to compare to the blood taken yesterday for their study. I told the girl I didn't mind being a part of the study b/c I was already going to be poked for something else, but if it was something separate then she could forget it! In return for participation, I got a gift bag with notepads, a pen, and later I'll get $20. Certainly nothing worth the trouble, but I feel good helping out someone's study if it helps them stop illnesses in other children that are based on our surrounding environment. Hopefully, this study is better run than the last study (which I thought was a crock b/c the questions were written so poorly).

I ended up waiting 10 minutes past my 1 hour limit for getting my blood drawn b/c the lab tech was with someone for a *really* long time. At the time, I was getting nervous b/c the nurse drilled it into me that I needed to get my blood drawn after an hour. Once I was finally called in, I asked the tech and she said that it was ok for me to be 10 minutes later. Whew - b/c I didn't want to have to do that test again!

I called this morning for my test results and I PASSED! :) The nurse said my levels were 122 and that I was fine. I looked it up online, and I think they tend to send people over 140 on to the 3 hour test. I'm SO glad I don't have to do the 3 hour test b/c that would require fasting and 4 blood draws. Blech!

Our next appointment is August 4th - we'll have a regular dr appointment and we'll also have another ultrasound. They want to look at his head to see if the cysts are going away, but also to measure him and see if he's the right size. I'm also going to ask that they check for neural tube defects (like Spina Bifada) since the CVS test didn't test for those defects.

In other baby news, 2 nights ago was the second time that Gary was able to feel Kirby moving around in there. He was quite the kicker that night so there was no mistaking what was going on in there.:)

Feeling him kick

They say that the dad often feels "left out" during a pregnancy, since all the action is taking place in the mom's body. While I can see how a dad wouldn't feel nearly as connected as a mom, I must say that I don't feel "left out," per se. That said, it is awfully cool when I can feel the little guy kick.

It happened for the first time a little over a week ago. I put my palm across the bottom of the baby bump and felt... something. Was it a foot? Was it a hand? A head? Who knows. But, it was definite and real. But, then it was gone.

More than a week passed before I got to feel him again. Theresa thinks I'm going to have a calming influence on him after he's born, because every time I rush to put my palm on her belly, he stops kicking. But, not last night. Last night as we lie in bed, I was able to reach across and feel him doing what must have been some type of Bill Bojangles routine. I felt probably a half-dozen or more kicks in a short span before he settled into whatever new position he found himself.

It was only then that I realized how much more "connected" to him Theresa must be. She can feel the little bugger everyday. Of course, she has to suffer the negatives along with the positives. So, I'm not suggesting we switch places or anything. But, I do envy her just a touch. Hopefully I can attend another tap dance recital soon.

random baby stuff

We went to Wilmington for the 4th of July weekend, and here's the first pic of my baby belly at 24 weeks.



On the way, Gary stopped for gas, and the person at the counter was the first stranger to say something to me about being pregnant. Looks like I'm not able to hide it anymore. :)

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Sometimes, the strongest baby kicks that I feel are when I lay in bed on my left side. It feels like the baby is kicking super hard on my right side - I've even seen the pillow move when he kicks! Even though I think they're hard kicks, Gary still hasn't been able to feel the movement..... until recently! Every time BBM goes crazy, I grab Gary's hand, but it seems like Gary has a soothing effect on BBM b/c he tends to calm down. However, a few nights ago, Gary was finally able to feel a few kicks. :) I'm not sure what that feels like to the dad, but I'm so glad that he was finally able to feel it. I know - give it a few weeks and then Gary will be able to feel it all day if he wanted to. However, I think there's just something so exciting about feeling it the first time..... I dunno. You'd have to ask him. :)

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Not BBM related, but still one of our "children"...... we had Bingham boarded at the vet while we were in Wilmington. He's been having skin allergies and hot spots so we asked if they also did grooming. They only do a "summer shave" and I said go for it. During the trip we were nervous that we'd come home to a naked dog. I just though, so what, it's just hair, it'll all grow back. It's not like he'd know he looks weird. :P

We were pleasantly surprised to see that there was a bit of hair left, but not only that - he was adorable!! His face looks completely different. His ears are so short and cute - I just want to stare at him and love on him all day. :D

ab pains

Thursday mid-morning, I noticed that I was having some pains in my lower ab area on the left side. I didn't feel it so much when I was sitting, but I definitely noticed it when I walked the 20 times to the bathroom. I ended up calling the ask a nurse and she thought that it was just Braxton-Hicks contractions (which are common at 25 weeks). She said that if the pains got worse or it was accompanied by something else (bleeding, fever, etc) to call back.

After lunch, I was still feeling the pain, so I looked up symptoms of Braxton-Hicks, and it didn't sound at all like what I was feeling. B-H typically only lasts a minute or 2, but my pain wouldn't go away. I felt nervous, so I just decided to take work home and sit on the couch, with very little movement from me (like my own self-imposed bed rest).

The next day I was still feeling the pain, so I stayed at home and worked from the couch again - moving as little as possible. The pain came and went that night, but I still mainly felt it when I was standing or walking.

That night, I realized that the pain occasionally went away after I got up to pee, so I became suspicious that it was anything to really be worried about. However, Saturday I walked around a bit shopping and having lunch and there were times that I could barely walk. I felt like I was walking like an old person - not able to stand up straight and walking *very* slowly! Saturday night was pretty painful and I kept going to the bathroom in hopes that it would go away.

Sunday was better, but I still took it easy most of the day. For our morning routine (breakfast, baby registry at Target and grocery shopping) I wore the pregnancy belt in hopes that it would help with the pain in case some of it had to do with my back.

Today, I was a lot better, but still felt it some. I ended up calling the ask a nurse again and she scheduled an appt for me to come in. Other than having to wait 45 minutes past my appt time (grrrr!), the dr said everything was fine. She got more information from me about what's been happening and asked me questions to pin point trouble signs (bleeding, trouble going to the bathroom, etc).

She measured my belly, and that was normal. Then she listened to BBM's heartbeat (135) and said that it's normal and that he was moving around a lot (which I couldn't feel). Then.... the vaginal exam. She checked to see if I was dilated, but she said I was firmly shut. :) She also checked my ovaries to see if I had any cysts, but that was normal. She checked something else that I wasn't sure what was up - but that was normal, too. She said that she could feel BBM moving like crazy when she was checking everything down there. Looks like I have a lot of sleepless nights ahead of me once he's big enough for me to feel every movement. :)

So, all the exams showed that everything is fine. Her guess is that I'm just experiencing more round ligament pains. Previously, I felt them mostly in my groin, but as my stomach expands, I'll be feeling the pains in different locations. Apparently, the stretching right now is mostly taking place in my lower abs. It's certainly not fun (see the description above of how painful it can be), but it's a relief to know what's going on. At least now I don't feel like I have to veg out all the time on the couch - that it's ok for me to move around more (and go on some walks).

Also, I had my blood pressure taken (110/70) and weighed (191.5). I weighed the same as I did last appt which was 3 weeks ago. I feel a little better that I didn't gain another 5 pounds since I haven't been exercising as much these past 3 weeks with dad visiting, going out of town, and the ab pain.

22 weeks

Wow - sorry for being slack in the updates. I guess there really hasn't been much to report on. Things are still progressing quite normally for the second trimester. I have the achy back (mainly if I'm on my feet or walking too long) and I think BBM goes through random growth spurts b/c the mega hunger and debilitating sleepiness isn't really that consistent. Around 20 weeks, I started to feel him moving, and now I feel him at least 5 times a day (it's not uncommon this early to go without any movement for days, though). The feeling is not really that comfortable - it feels like my stomach is dropping, similar to the feeling you get on a rollercoaster. At first, I really didn't like being in public when it happened b/c it was a weird feeling and it usually makes me feel like I have to go to the bathroom. I've gotten used to the feeling now, but it's still uncomfortable at times. I'm just happy that I can feel him swimming around - makes me know that he's still there and growing. :)

On Tuesday, I had my monthly appointment (this time was with a midwife instead of a dr). Apparently, I'm gaining too much weight (even though I do some form of exercise 3-5 times a week and pre-pregnancy I didn't work out at all). I'm not sure what's going on with the weight numbers but here's what the midwife said: Pre-pregnancy they have me down as weighing 174. I'm not sure where they got that number since I had never seen them before I got pregnant. I don't remember them taking that weight so maybe they just asked me what I weighted and I told them what my home scale said.

The first time I was weighted at the dr office I weighted 182 (even though the home scale still said in the 170's). So, I've just been going by 182 as my base number. Yesterday, I weighed 192. I was happy at first, thinking I've only gained 10 pounds in 22 weeks, but when I talked to the midwife she said that they actually consider me as gaining 18 pounds! Shocked Since I'm overweight to begin with, I should have only gained 15-20 pounds total - not in the first half of the pregnancy!

I measured my thigh recently to see if I've gained any fat and my thigh is the same size (maybe a tiny bit smaller) than before I got pregnant. So, in my mind, I'm going to start counting from 182 instead of 174. ;)

However, I gained 5 pounds last month and I really should only be gaining 3-4 per month. So, it looks like I need to be a little better about trying to do at least a little bit of exercise each day (even if it's just walking for 30 minutes around the neighborhood) and I need to be better about what I eat. I've been slacking on allowing myself caffeine (it's so hard to completely give up the sweet tea when we go out to eat!). I think that things would be better if we didn't go out to eat so often since we have no idea what the meals are made with, but neither of us are big on cooking so it's hard to not go out to eat at least 4-5 times a week (mostly on the weekends). I'm not a big snacker when I get home (at work I snack a lot but it's just various fruits) so that's thankfully not an issue. Oh, and she said that I also need to get more iron so I'll be adding spinach to my lunch salads that I have every day at work.

I'm trying not to obsess about the weight gain b/c I know that I'm going to gain weight and that if I keep exercising, it'll be easier to take off after the baby's born (especially if I'm able to breastfeed), but I've been having issues (back, legs, etc) that I'm sure would be better if I didn't gain too much weight too quickly.

My next appt is the ookie gestational diabetes test. I really hope I pass the 1 hour test b/c I have a serious phobia of needles and the thought of having to get poked 3-4 times for the 3 hour test squiks me out!

18 weeks

Yesterday was a busy "baby" day. We saw 4 daycare centers, and so far we only like 2 of them. One of them was really impressive (they have an extensive curriculum including baby sign language when they're toddlers and Spanish when they're 2-3), but of course they're the most expensive ($1300/month). The other one that we liked was $270/week. They weren't nearly as nice as the other place, but they come *highly* recommended by other local mommies. The down side to them is that their wait list is really long (over a year). We're going to see if we can find others to visit, but so far it may be the really nice place since we liked them so much and their wait list isn't as long.

In the afternoon, we had the 18 week ultrasound and a regular dr appt. The ultrasound was great - Baby Boy Miller (BBM) was moving around a bunch, but the technician was able to get everything he needed to see. We were even able to get a 3D image, but he just looks like any other baby out there. Gary & I think he's talking on the phone. :)





There was a bit of a nervous moment though when the dr came in after the ultrasound technician was done. The dr told us that BBM has a choroid plexus cyst. The choroid plexus makes a fluid that protects and nourishes the brain and spinal cord. When a fluid-filled space is seen in the choroid plexus during an ultrasound, it is called a choroid plexus cyst (CPC). Dr said that it's not really common and can be a marker for Trisomy 18. However, since we already had the CVS and know that his chromosomes are ok, then there's nothing for us to worry about. CPC usually goes away in the 3rd trimester, but even if it doesn't, it supposedly won't affect him, his growth, or his brain functions. I'm going again in 10 weeks for another ultrasound to check the progress of the CPC.

After the ultrasound, we met with another dr to check in and see how everything is going. He went over the ultrasound results again and said that everything looked normal and right on target. BBM did measure bigger than an 18 week fetus, but not by much (19 weeks 2 days). Dr said that it's common and that they would only really be concerned if BBM was measuring more than 10 days bigger. Dr said that it doesn't mean that I'll be giving birth sooner, nor does it mean that BBM will be a big baby when born.

I asked about my weight gain to make sure that I'm on target and not gaining too much (since I was overweight to begin with). I think so far I've only gained about 4 pounds and the dr said that it's great - nothing to worry about. I should only gain about .75 pounds a week between now and labor so that I don't gain too much (which can cause an oversized birth weight). I just need to continue getting exercise 3-4 times a week and I should try to cut down on the sugar (it's just so difficult sometimes though!).

Now seems to be the "boring" phase of the pregnancy except for weight gain. I've been feeling better (for the most part), but the painful gas is still there. I'm not as tired as before, but I do still try to go to bed around 9:30-10 each night so that I can get at least 8 hours of sleep. The next dr appt is in 4 weeks, but that's just a regular check up (weight, blood pressure, etc), and after that is the ultrasound in 10 weeks. Boring stuff. :)

FMLA part 2

Well, apparently the HR person spoke too soon. I would have needed to work 500 hours as a temp for my time to count, but I was only at 300ish. So, I don't really know what this all means. The HR person wants me to get the dr to fill out paperwork at my next appt (which is Tuesday) and then I'll meet with her to go over everything. We're going to figure out how much sick time and vacation time I have available to me and see if that pushes me over the 1 year mark. Hopefully everything will work out ok.

Personally, I'm feeling better, but ugh I'm getting big! I can no longer fit into any of my regular clothes except for workout stuff and shirts. All of my skirts and non-drawstring pants are to be put away for a while. I have 6 maternity dresses, but I think I'm going to see if I can make myself go through the humiliating experience of trying on pants soon. I guess it would be nice to have some casual outfits so I don't feel I need to walk around in public with my work out gear. :)

FMLA

I just had a meeting with my HR person about maternity leave. Apparently, you have to be employed for 12 months to be eligible, but she doesn't think I'll have trouble since I worked 2+ months as a temp last summer. I was worried about it for a second since I'm due Oct 23 and my year anniversary at this job is Nov 11. Now I just need to make sure that I don't have to have bed rest before going into labor!

Another bonus about being at Duke is that I take 3 weeks of vacation/sick time, and Duke pays an additional 3 weeks. That's still a lot of time that's unpaid, but I wasn't aware of the extra paid 3 weeks at all so it's just a bonus!

Digging the heart monitor

I'm trying to not abuse the fact that we can hear our little booger's heart any ol' time now that we have a fetal heart doppler. But, we listened again last night, and I like hearing his heart beat.

heart monitor

Last week, I was feeling unnecessarily nervous about the pregnancy. The constant urge to go to the bathroom had subsided, I was generally feeling better, and I wasn't starving all the time. It made me wonder if there was something wrong. I tried to tell myself that everything was fine - no bad signs like cramping or bleeding, and that the second trimester is usually the best. I think Gary ended up a bit worried b/c of my concerns, so we bought a $20 heart monitor at Babies R Us on Friday. Of course, the thing looked pretty chintzy and we weren't surprised that we weren't able to hear the baby's heartbeat. Additionally, since I'm only 15 weeks, it's difficult to hear the heartbeat anyway. I think what made me worry a bit more than normal is that it's been a while since we've been to the dr and our next appt isn't for another 3 weeks.

Sunday was not a good day for me. I think the combination of McDonald's for breakfast and indian buffet for lunch did a number on my stomach. I had the worst stomach ache that lasted until 2am. I slept for about 2 hours in the afternoon and then spent the rest of the day/evening on the couch. Thankfully, the stomach ache went away and I was able to sleep most of the night.

Monday (yesterday) I felt some cramping that just wouldn't go away. It didn't hurt - it felt more like someone was constantly poking me in the lower stomach. I became concerned and the longer I sat at work, the more I was thinking that I just needed to have a quick heart beat scan to make sure that everything's ok. I called the Ask A Nurse and she said that it's probably b/c the uterus didn't have enough water. She suggested that I drink 2 big glasses of water in 10 minutes and wait an hour. If the cramps didn't stop, I was to call her back and we'd figure out where to go from there. Well, the cramps stopped and now I'm drinking tons of water to make sure it doesn't happen again. :)

I told Gary about what happened (and that there's nothing to worry about). However, he ended up searching for a better heart monitor and found one on Craigslist for $40 (normally $250). We picked it up last night from a *very* scary looking couple in a trashy looking yard/house. We didn't want to get our hopes up that it would work since I'm still not that far along, but thankfully I was finally able to find the heartbeat! Gary was unable to find it and it took me a while to find the "sweet spot" but it was definitely there! :) I don't imagine we'll use the monitor often - just in times that I feel like I need that reassurance b/c something weird is going on.

So, now I feel better about it and I think I can handle waiting another 3 weeks for the appt. Hopefully the heartburn, stomach aches and other issues lessen b/c it's definitely not easy to be in pain so often. :P

Second trimester = trudging through desert

We purposefully put our next doctor's appointment and a standard ultrasound at the same time "for convenience." But, now I think we're both regretting it, because after having seen the doctor so many times in the first trimester, this second one is moving at a snails pace! Three more weeks before we see the baby again via ultrasound or hear his heartbeat through doppler.

Clearly too far off from the last one, because we're both antsy!

13 weeks

Last Friday, I hit the 13 week mark. I had read that women typically start to feel better in the second trimester and I was looking forward to it! I definitely don't have to wear the wrist bands anymore, but the past few days I haven't been feeling stellar. The annoying thing about it is that I can't really explain what's wrong - just that I'm not feeling great. Yes, I still have the gas issues which can be quite painful, but I at least know what that feels like. Some examples of the "new" feelings are:

* One morning, after getting out of the shower, I felt dizzy but this time my vision got weird and I swear I saw stars! I never really knew what they were talking about in cartoons (seeing stars or tweetie birds), but now I know!
* Yesterday at the gym, I was riding the bike and I had another weird vision/dizzy spell. I stopped pedaling fast and just took it easy the rest of the time. I also felt weird twinges on both sides of my stomach so I made sure to take it easy until they went away. I was able to do 30 minutes on the bike, but it was difficult to stay the whole time.
* Last night, there was a weird feeling in my stomach and I felt like I needed to lay still or I would throw up. Not because I was nauseous, but more like I had eaten way too much food (which I didn't) and it was lodged like a ball in my stomach and needed to come back. Thankfully, I never threw up, but I drank milk when I woke up and sat a few times to keep steady.
* This morning I was walking to my office and all of a sudden my vision blurred and I got super dizzy. I made my way to a lamppost and just held on until my head cleared and I was able to continue walking to my office.

Mom thinks that the dizziness this morning might have been caused by low blood pressure. Hard to say, but the last time I had a dr appt (a week ago) I had higher blood pressure than usual (even though it was normal range for most people). I don't have a way to check my own blood pressure, but maybe I'll see if there's something I can do to check it on my own. I know that pregnancy sometimes causes lower pressure b/c it's all flowing differently to help the baby grow, but I'm not sure if that's what's causing the dizzy spells lately.

YAY!

It was sooner than expected, but the genetic counselor called this morning with the results from the CVS and everything is fine genetically!! Additionally, since they look at the chromosomes, she told us that we're having a baby boy. :) I really don't care what sex the baby is, as long as it's healthy!! However, now that we know the sex, we only have to concentrate on trying to come up with boy names instead of both. I don't know how they knew, but both my mom and Gary's mom told us that it was going to be a boy - so they're right!

Yesterday, we had a regular dr appt. They took my weight (I haven't gained anything) and blood pressure - it was higher than I'm used to but it's still in normal range since I have lower blood pressure regularly. When we met with the dr, she really only just asked if we had any questions and then we listened to the baby's heartbeat (which is always nice to hear). Honestly, I kinda felt like it was a waste of time to take off work for so long for just that (even though I know they like to check things along the way to make sure that I'm not gaining too much weight too fast, etc). She scheduled us to come back in 6 weeks for another ultrasound (where they check the anatomy and make sure everything's ok). Originally she scheduled another regular dr appt for 4 weeks, but I asked her to change it so that I could do both appts on the same day so Gary & I only have to take off work once. So, we'll be going back when I'm around 18 weeks.

11 weeks

This was the ultrascan photo that we got right before the CVS. The baby was 11 weeks and 4 days. The baby's head is on the left and the "blob" above its forehead is the little hand (kinda like a salute).



As of Friday, I officially hit the second trimester. Thankfully, I still haven't had any bad effects from the CVS (no cramping, bleeding, etc). I'm nervous about getting the results, but I still have a week to go before getting the results (prolly not until Thursday or Friday).

I have another dr appt tomorrow, but it's just a general check-up - thankfully nothing horrific. :)

CVS

Yesterday was the dreaded CVS appt. First, Gary & I saw a genetic counselor to discuss our genetic background and to talk about any questions we had about the CVS. One thing that kinda came as a shock was that the miscarriage rate for a CVS is actually 1 in 150 - not 1 in 350 like the previous doctor told us. (We have another appt with her next week and you can bet that I'm going to tell her the correct information so that she doesn't tell other scared families the wrong information!)

The counselor told us that the CVS test is 99.5% accurate. The other .5% is in cases that the cells weren't able to culture. It's also taking into account the very slight possibility of a "false positive." We wanted clarification about the false positive b/c if that's the case we would then need to have an amnio to verify the results. Gary & I figured that we might as well skip the CVS and wait for the amnio if that was the case. However, the counselor said that it's a 1 in 1,000 chance that there would be a false positive, so we decided to go ahead with the ultrasound. I don't know if I could explain the false positive so well, but basically, on those rare occasions, the placenta could have the mosaicism of Down's but the baby could still be ok. If that's the case, the numbers would be so wonky and out of sorts that they would know that something is wrong. One thing that eased my mind is that if they are able to culture the cells they would know for sure if there was something wrong with the baby (unless it's the weird 1 in 1000 case mentioned above). Apparently, there would *not* be a false positive or false negative without them knowing something weird is going on and suggesting an amnio to clear up the question.

We went into another room for the ultrasound and she said that everything still looked normal (the size of the baby, etc). The baby already has definite hands and feet and we were able to see that one baby's hand was near it's forehead and that it's legs were crossed. The ultrasound tech looked at the placement of the placenta so that they could get an idea of which CVS method they would need to use (either with a needle through the belly or a tube through the vaginal canal). I was hoping that it would be vaginally since I've heard that it's less invasive (less pain), however it does lead to more bleeding afterwards.

The dr possibly performing the test came in to talk to us to see if we had any more questions and to see if we had decided to go through with it. Then she broke the bad news..... b/c of the placement of my placenta, the CVS would be the needle through the belly. :( Since I had been through an amnio with the first pregnancy, I was asking about the differences, and the dr said that the needle is bigger with a CVS (b/c they're collecting more than just fluid) and that the needle, once in, is moved around more instead of just straight in an straight out so that they can collect all the stuff that they need. I certainly was upset and very scared, but I didn't let that stop me from going ahead with the test. In addition to the regular stuff they test for, we also consented for them to check for cystic fibrosis, which resulted in me having to give blood after the CVS. Yay - another needle. :(

Gary ran off briefly to find a magazine for me to hold over my face so that I didn't have to see what was happening. During that time, I was being prepped for the test. Basically, I just had to lay on my back and pull my pants down low and my shirt up high so they had plenty of access to my belly and pelvic region. They cleaned me off, put the gel for the ultrasound on one section of my stomach and then I just prayed that it would all be over quickly!

Since I didn't watch anything, I can only tell you what it felt like. The ultrasound technician started her thing so that she could guide the dr to the placenta (which wasn't near the baby). Then a sharp needle prick, which was to make the area numb. The dr inserted a needle in which I thought was the beginning of her taking the sample. However, I was wrong! It was actually a guide needle for the other needle that would be taking the sample. When the main needle was inserted, I felt like a "pop" as it went through something (the placenta? the uterus? I don't know). That was painful and completely took me off guard since I thought that the first needle was already gathering the sample (the dr wasn't telling me what was going on as she was doing things). After the pop, I could feel the needle moving around and it was all so gross and I just kept hoping that it would be over soon. Around the time that I thought I couldn't take anymore, she said "almost done", and then it was over. She looked at the sample to make sure that she had enough. During that time, I was starting to panic and hoped that she had enough b/c I really didn't think I could do that all over again. Thankfully, she had enough and it was all over!! The ultrasound technician then did another little scan and let us hear the baby's heartbeat. She said that some people are reassured by it so that we know that the baby's still there and ok. :)

As they were cleaning me up, I slowly started to shake, my teeth started to chatter and I began crying. I think that I had held in the scared feelings as best I could after she first dropped the bombshell of it needing to be through the belly. Once the whole thing was over, a wave of emotion from all the panic, being scared, and in pain came over me all at once. I felt silly for crying, but I tried to tell myself that I'm allowed to cry b/c I just went through something scary and I'm hormonal! I went to the bathroom (since I had to have a full bladder through the whole procedure) and let myself cry it out for a bit.

Unfortunately, that wasn't the end. I had to wait a while for the lab person to call me back, but thankfully, the blood draw wasn't as yucky as what I had just gone through.

After, we treated ourselves to Cheesecake Factory for lunch, and then I laid on the couch all day watching movies. I didn't have any problems the rest of the day - no cramping (except for minor discomfort) and there was only a tiny drop of blood once when I went to the bathroom. I'm not sure how long it's possible to have a miscarriage afterwards, but they only suggested that I take it easy for 24 hours after the procedure. I definitely did yesterday and today I'm just going home after work instead of going to the gym. I'm keeping an eye on things, but so far nothing out of the ordinary.

Now.... we wait for the results. We won't know anything until the end of next week b/c it takes time for the cells to culture and grow. Hopefully, we'll have good news then!

cramps

The past few days I have had a few spasms of cramps. It's not consistent - just occasionally. Whenever it happens, I try to not do anything until the cramps go away. I finally read a little about it today and apparently it's common during this time (10 weeks). It's either the placenta latching on or it's the expansion of the uterus to accommodate all that's going on inside. Either way, nothing to be worried about unless it's accompanied by bleeding (which, for me, it's not).

I was thrown off yesterday when I found out that our genetic counselor/possible CVS appt is actually next week instead of 2 weeks from now. It's not a big deal, I suppose, it's just closer than I was thinking. At least if we go through with the CVS, that part of the worry will be over! If I have it done, I plan on just going home and laying on the couch all day - I think that's what they usually recommend. Hopefully I'll feel good enough to go to work the next day so I don't blow through my sick/vacation before maternity leave. If I don't take any vacation time between now and then (only using sick days) I'll have around 15 days saved up (which is only 3 weeks).

Something new

I've been feeling a bit better lately, but still really tired and sometimes I feel like I'm on the verge of throwing up. Something new started yesterday - I feel this weird "fluttering" in my lower stomach and/or pelvic bone area. I know it's too early to feel the baby move, but I've read a bit online and apparently it's rather common. It kinda feels like a slight twitch, but not as strong. If you looked at the area, you wouldn't be able to see anything, but it's strong enough that I feel it every time it starts up. Thankfully, it's not something that's constant b/c it's rather distracting.

3/23

So, nothing new to report. I'm at 9 weeks and 3 days and everything seems to still be on track. All of last night I felt like I was on the verge of throwing up every time I woke up, but thankfully, I never did. I think I really need to examine what I'm eating. I suppose there's no sense in cutting out caffeine and peanut butter for the health of the baby, but then still eating a lot of other crap. Lately, I feel like I need more veggies. I'm really good about eating lots of fruit (mainly b/c it's easy to bring to work as snacks), but I bought some zucchini and hummus yesterday and salad fixings so I can have those as snacks, too. I think one of my problems with feeling hungry all the time is that my snacks (fruit) are so small. I think I need something more "substantial" so that I don't feel like I have to eat every 30 minutes. I really need to start counting calories again though b/c I really don't want to let my weight get carried away and make it harder for me to lose after the baby comes.

Nothing new as far as appts any time soon. Our next appt is 3 weeks from now - with the genetic counselor.

A post

We're in the ninth week, and I'm feeling some of the effects of the pregnancy I'm bloated and having a hard time falling asleep. I can't imagine what it's like if I actually had to carry the little bugger. :) ha ha.

I don't have much to add to what Theresa has already said. I just felt like I should post something to be, I dunno, participatory. So, this is my celebratory post for us having cleared the 7.5 week jinx. There are plenty of hurdles left in front of us. But, at least that one is behind us.

Unrelated commentary: everyone seems to think this one is a boy. Both our mothers think so. We don't have a clue and don't really care. But, boy names are harder for us. The only boy name that Theresa really likes is Wesley (but not Wes).

another dr appt

I had my first dr appointment today. She talked to us about screening for Down's and other genetic issues. One thing that I was surprised by was the idea that CVS didn't have as high of a risk for miscarriage as I thought (CVS is 1 out of 350 and amnio is 1 out of 400). She said that they have very experienced doctors that perform CVS' almost every day. On the plus side for a CVS, it's done at 11-12 weeks (earliest for an amnio is 16 weeks). On the negative side, a CVS doesn't check for as many defects as an amnio - it definitely checks genetic markers, but it doesn't check for things like spina bifida.

She did a quick ultrasound and I was able to still see the little (fast heartbeat) - so that's a relief! She also did a regular pap exam to check if everything's ok and I "donated" about 7 vials of blood. She said that they would only contact me with the results if there was a problem.

I set up an appt to meet with a genetic counselor in 3 weeks. I'll, also, have the option that day to have a CVS. If we decide to not have the CVS, it's not a big deal to cancel that appt. I think we'll be doing a lot of research in the meantime!

Ultrasound photos

The baby at 7 weeks

Ultrasound appt

I just got back from my ultrasound and we saw the heartbeat! It's a bit of a relief since this weekend is the dreaded weekend (7.5 weeks) but it was nice to have a bit of reassurance going into it instead of worrying all weekend. Based on the size, they placed me at 7 weeks so we're due Oct 23rd. Not too shabby to have all those holiday months off for maternity leave! :)

I'm hitting the yucky green phase of the pregnancy now. I'm feeling crappy a lot of the time and food is starting to be a challenge. I'm good for about 10 minutes of eating a meal and then I have to stop or I feel like I'm going to hurl. We went for lunch after the dr appt this morning and all I could eat was my cup of soup. I know I'm going to be mega hungry in about an hour so I took my salad with me for later. I hope I find a good combo of what doesn't make me queasy. I'm also at the point where I just want to be at home when I'm feeling badly. It's not like there's something magical about the place, just that I can lay down if I need to or go to the bathroom without worrying about other people sitting in the stall next to me. Blargh!

However, for all my bellyaching, I'm glad that the little one is there and has a strong heartbeat! ;D

Tomorrow is 7 weeks

Well, the time has arrived. Tomorrow will be 7 weeks. The other 2 miscarriages happened at 7.5 weeks, so I'm hoping that this next weekend will be uneventful. I know that doesn't mean smooth sailing - just that we'll be over the first hurdle.

I have started to have more symptoms in addition to the constant hunger. I definitely feel tired a lot (especially in the afternoon), so I have been trying to go to bed around 9:30-10pm. I also have a bit of the breast tenderness. The weirdest one is the "not feeling well" randomness, but I can't quite put a finger on what's actually wrong - just a general icky feeling. I also feel that my body is sometimes out of sorts, sort of like I haven't been exercising for a long time and that I'm not very limber. I try to go to the gym every day now to ride the bike for at least 30 minutes, but sometimes it's not easy to make myself go (especially since it was snowy & icy yesterday). Tonight, I don't want to drive around on the roads more than necessary (even though it's mostly dry), so I'm going to try one of my prenatal DVDs at home. I'm hoping that by doing all the exercise, I'll hold off the feeling of being super out of shape and stiff.

This Friday is another ultrasound. They want to check the fetal pole, get some measurements, and see if they can pinpoint a due date more accurately. According to the online calculators, I'm due October 21, but we'll know more on Friday.

First ultrasound

I had my first ultrasound this morning. At first, it was the typical stomach type, but then the dr decided that she also wanted me to have a vaginal ultrasound. The news was not negative, but I'm still trying to hold on to some sort of caution about it all. It's just so difficult since I have been having more pregnancy symptoms than the other miscarriages!

The ultrasound tech said that the gestational sac and the yolk sac looked normal, but they couldn't find the fetal pole. Based on the size of the sacs, they hypothesized that I'm not as far along as I would have thought when using the date of my last period. Therefore, we're going to go back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound so they can see the fetus' size and shape. At the same time, we're going to see a dr for the first time (possibly the dr that we work with the entire pregnancy).

We've decided to use a high risk dr since there is the history of the 2 miscarriages and also because of the history of Down's. The likelihood of having another baby with Down's by the same method as before is *very* slim (less than 1%) b/c what happened that time was a rare genetic mutation, but the likelihood of the baby having Down's b/c of maternal age (38) is 1 in 180. Still not great odds, but I'm hoping that we've had enough bad luck to last us a lifetime!

Swimmy head

Last night I slept ok. I drank some milk before going to bed in hopes that it would soothe whatever is going on down there. I felt some pangs of weirdness, but thankfully, nothing to keep me up.

I've been feeling more swimmy headed lately. I wish I could predict when it was going to come, but it's so random. Every time it happens, I just drink some water and hope that things (ie: my brain) clears up. I haven't had issues when standing yet - luckily it's only happened while I was sitting.

I've also been *very* hungry! Usually at work I have a yogurt for breakfast, baby carrots mid-morning, lunch, and a banana for mid-afternoon. Apparently this isn't enough. I need to find more healthy snacks to bring to work so that I'm not tempted to go to the cafe and get something bad for me just so that my stomach will stop growling.

Maybe being hungry has something to so with the swimmy head. :)

stomach pains

The past 2 nights have *not* been pleasant! Around noon on Sunday, my stomach started to hurt just a bit, so I ate lunch and took it easy (ie: watched TV and knitted). By the time I went to bed, it felt like there was a ball of hurt in there. I get the pain occasionally, and it usually goes away on it's own around 3am. I don't know what it is - gas? Nerves? Dunno. The Sunday night pain was typical - went away on its own.

Last night, I was feeling ok. Went to the gym for 40 minutes on the bike, ate dinner, watched TV and washed dishes. However, once I was about to go to sleep, a mild form of the stomach pain was back. I took a Tums and went to sleep. Around 2am, I woke up and the pain was worse - it's not *horrible*, it's just persistent and causes me to be so uncomfortable that I can't find a good way to lay to fall back asleep. After almost an hour, I realized that I was thinking too much about it - is it b/c I'm hungry? Gassy? Nerves? Dunno. I felt a little queasy a few times and thought that maybe having something in my stomach would help. This is similar to the first pregnancy, but eating in the middle of the night didn't happen until I was *way* past 5 weeks. I couldn't think of anything bland to eat that we had on hand, so I had a cup of milk. Almost immediately, I could feel it soothing things a bit and after another 30 minutes of laying in bed, I was finally able to go back to sleep.

I'm trying so hard not to get my hopes up again about this pregnancy, but this one, so far, feels different than the 2 miscarriages. It feels more like the first one, that I was able to carry until 21 weeks. I think I'm over analyzing how I'm feeling at all times, but I have been swimmy-headed a few times already, and I'm hungrier more often. I've been drinking a ton of water and I keep carrots and bananas at the office for snacks so I'm not tempted to go for something unhealthy. I'm going to see if I can find those all natural Ms May bars (3 nuts, 3 seeds and 3 fruits) so I can keep them in my purse in case the swimmy-need-to-eat-now feeling takes over again.

Let's try this again

Well, here we go again - another pregnancy! This makes the 4th one (although, I think I may have had another one last month, but it was never confirmed). Since I'm not sure of the actual start date of my last period (do I count Sun, Jan 11 when there was really light spotting or do I count Wed, Jan 14 when it really kicked in?), but for now I'm going with Jan 11. That makes me currently 5 weeks and 2 days. Both of the previous miscarriages happened at exactly 7.5 weeks, so we're on pins and needles for the next few weeks. Well, actually we'll be nervous the whole time since we don't have a good track record!

I have made a lot of changes in the way I do things. I'm going to *try* to get some form of exercise every day - lately it's been 30+ minutes on the stationary bike. Once my heel stops hurting, I'd like to mix it up with a fast-paced walk on the treadmill. I also have a prenatal yoga DVD that I'm going to try to do at least twice a week. I bought a heart rate monitor so I can make sure that my heart rate doesn't get too high while exercising.

The other big change is my diet. For now, I've given up caffeine (including chocolate!) and artificial sweeteners. The hardest for me is going to be sweet tea when we go out to eat, but I discovered that Kroger sells caffeine free sweet tea by the gallon so I'll have a bit at home. Maybe that'll encourage me to eat more at home. :P

I have an appt on Friday for an ultrasound. I think it's just to see how things are progressing. It's also a good time for me to ask about things I can do to try and avoid another miscarriage (although from what I understand, it's not really possible to avoid a miscarriage unless I'm doing really stupid things like flinging myself down stairs or picking up heavy objects). The next main appt won't be until 11 weeks.