Is it okay to be mad at the world?

I'm beginning to suspect the world has it out for us. The past year has really been trying. Laundry list of big, major things: Down's Syndrome first pregnancy, termination, flooded basement, Theresa's chest mass, busted water main, Bingham's illness, and now this situation.

If I wasn't such a staunch believer in the randomness of the world, I'd think something/someone is conspiring against us.

Another update

I just talked to the consulting nurse and she said that with the amount of bleeding that it sounds like I'm having a miscarriage. I have to go in this afternoon to do yet another blood test for them to test my pregnancy levels and again on Monday to see if they can really tell. If so, I'll need to get a blood test every week until the levels are at 0 before we can try again (approx 1 month).

:(

Very concerned

The bleeding has intensified. Now it looks like a regular monthly period. I called the On Call Nurse last night, and she said that it sometimes happens. The thing to really be concerned about is heavy cramping - which I haven't had. She said to take it easy for a few days and to call back if it still hasn't stopped by Monday. However, since it's gotten heavier since last night, I'm going to call again around lunchtime so I can talk to a different nurse and get her opinion on what I should do.

On a positive note, the results from the Calcium blood test came back and it's normal. Whew!

First Nurse Visit Pt 2

We just got back from our first nurse visit. I wasn't sure about what to expect (since I couldn't remember from last year). Basically, they wanted to enter info about me into their computer and give us some information. One thing that we're going to look into is the possibility of working with midwives (they have 5 that rotate). Since this center is *the* Group Health Women's Center in Seattle, the doctors can be really busy. With midwives, we would get a little extra attention throughout the pregnancy. Another bonus is that the midwives will be available during the labor. Unlike our doctor - who may or may not be available when we deliver.

One little concern at the moment is that I've been spotting (blood) a bit since yesterday. I remember it happened last year and it was nothing to worry about. I'll just need to keep an eye on it to make sure that it doesn't get worse. Last year, I never really thought or worried about a miscarriage. I'm not sure why I'm more concerned about it this time. I'm trying not to think about it and just let each day pass to get me closer to the birth date.

Oh, the nurse revised the estimated due date - March 29, 2008.

One more thing - ugh - I had to give 7 freakin' vials of blood. I *hate* needles! Luckily, the nurse was good and didn't have to go poking around for a vein. In addition to all the things they would regularly check for, they also took blood to check my calcuim levels. Not sure if you remember, but I had to give blood almost every other day at the end of last year because my calcium levels were high and they were concerned. They never figured out why it was high, and the levels dropped back down to normal in January. The dr wanted me to come back in a few months to get it checked again, but frankly I was tired of being poked so I never went back. I *really* hope everything's normal this time b/c I don't want to go thru that again, but I knew it was important to get the levels checked so that it doesn't affect the pregnancy.

First nurse visit and persistent worry

We have our first visit today with the nurse at the Ob/Gyn/Women's Health/Pregnancy Center. I must admit that with our dog Bingham out of critical condition, I've transferred some of my worry over to the pregnancy. I somehow thought I was going to be able to be in pregnancy denial until I knew everything was okay. But, obviously, that's not true, because I want to be excited and engaged.

But, with excitement and engagement comes "sweating the small stuff." I probably have no choice but to learn to live with an undercurrent of concern beneath the hope and possibility that comes with our second pregnancy.

In matters unrelated to worrying, I called Baby Schmoo a "he" this morning. It just popped out as we were cracking jokes. So, apparently at least part of my psyche thinks there's a boy in there. Both my psyche and the actual gender of the baby are subject to change, though. :)

Random Tidbits

* According to the nurse, we're due March 31, 2008. She said that they'll be able to narrow down the date around 20 weeks by looking at "Baby Schmoo"'s ultrasound.

* Nicknames so far: Baby Schmoo, Nugget, and Sprout

* We decided to go to the Women's Clinic since they're used to dealing with high risk pregnancies. We have our first appt with a nurse this Thursday, and the first appt with the doctor on Monday, Aug 20.

* As of today, we're 6 weeks 2 days.

* So far, I don't feel anything out of the ordinary. I feel like I've gotten bigger, but the scale doesn't say I have. I'm wearing a pedometer and I'm going to try to get in 10,000 steps daily. Today was my first day and after walking for 30+ minutes, I'm only at 6,500. Looks like I'll need to take a walk during lunch, too, if I plan on getting to 10,000! No food aversions or cravings yet.

* I'll be shopping around soon for a prenatal yoga DVD. I could tell last year that it would be beneficial, but I couldn't stand the class b/c the instructor talked for 60 minutes out of 75. If I wanted to hear her talk that long, I'd ask her out for coffee!

Shhhhh... don't tell anyone.

But, we're pregnant again. :)

We're starting this blog to post information and updates, our thoughts, our fears and so forth as we go through the pregnancy. Assuming it all goes well, the blog will also become a great place to keep up with baby pictures, videos and so forth.